FEELING INTO THE FEELING

We always inevitably do the thing we shouldn’t do.

Feeling Into the Feeling

What are boundaries? It’s easy to read about them and go “ah yes, that makes sense, I really like the way she wrote that, I’m going to use this next time, when my boundary gets crossed”. And that’s a very good idea, you should do that, the only problem is, in real time, in real life, when our boundary gets crossed, which it will, we never do the thing we “should do.” We always inevitably do the thing we shouldn’t do, completely breakdown, feel shame for letting ourselves fall back into the same old trap, swear we will never do that thing again, only to do the same damn thing AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I can only speak from my own life experience, which is a bit, not a lot, and say well, you just do the next best thing, which is usually nothing. I have found it’s better to do nothing, then do or say something I’ll regret. When I say nothing I don’t actually mean nothing. What I mean is we don’t resist feeling into the feeling. We don’t resist, the rage, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness. We just allow emotions to come as they will, after our boundary has been crossed and then flow into the next emotions, whatever they might be.

What if we didn’t resist the disharmony. We embraced it, said “oh hello you old friend, thanks for coming to visit today. I really would have preferred the happier ones but you’re here now so I guess I have to sit with you for a bit”.

Maybe life would be easier if we just felt the truth of a moment in time, and stopped attempting to get out of it. Stare it in the face, breathe it in.

Then let it out.

The point is, we allow the moment to happen, feel whatever is there to be felt, process those feelings and when we are ready to respond, we respond.